animalcrazyloner-

2009-07-08T19:58:00.001+08:00

They said theres H1N1 in school. O:

Did you know

2009-07-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

How do I get to sleep tonight?

I don't mind spending everyday,Out on your corner in the pouring rain.

2009-07-06T12:10:00.003+08:00

These days, the house has been unusually empty.
Father's out working for a week from the time even before I go to school, till close to midnight.
Mom's out working too.
Brother's in the army.
Theres so much silence at home sometimes I have to play music.
To keep away wild imaginations, keep the mind occupied.

This morning someone came knocking on the door again.
Pretty persistent.
The dogs kept barking.
&Maybe it could just be anyone, but theres still this tiny fear about it.

Anyway it's my responsibility now to bring the dogs out.
The usual routine.
Do you remember Russel?
Because I never dared to bring him out.
If he runs along the leash, he could pull my arm out.
But today, I found this new love for bringing him out.
Though I had him muzzled for a start,
I took it off the moment we reached the grass field.
He ran in all directions, but he didn't tug so hard it might pull my hand off.
There was something in his run.
A special bounce.
A special joy.

He is the only one, where when you squat and call out for him, he runs to you like theres no tomorrow.
He ears draw back giving a submissive look.
You can see the smile in his face.
He runs so quickly he doesn't stop till he bumps into you.
Then you should really make sure you're rooted strong or you'll fall over.

Its something I haven't seen for so long.
It was comforting.

And even if it wasn't me.
You'd smile.

Why not try making time.

2009-07-04T08:42:00.005+08:00

These are the things that scare me.
Because as long as you're not careful, there goes your life.

I just read an article about the death of another NSman here

Sigh.

Niki bit me on my face yesterday when I woke up in the afternoon.
She was probably still dreaming.
It swelled though.
Now it feels like a blue black. ):

I'll meet you on top of the world

2009-07-03T13:49:00.002+08:00

Shouldn't have came home.

2009-07-01T22:25:00.001+08:00

Please take homework away from me.
Far far away.
So far its non-existent.

Will you blame me for being mad?

2009-07-01T18:21:00.005+08:00

School felt like a long day when it begun.
But after awhile time pretty much brushed pass.
Wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

I think the teachers are in holiday mood still too.
Because Ms Noraini was really funny today.
Everyone really should have seen it.
She growled, barked, and whimpered.
Sounded really real.
The entire class just burst out laughing.
She did too, with her whole face red.

And there was Mr Lee too.
Being the fun happy mood guy today.
We probed him about learning journey and I think he feels, guilty.
Because of,
"What about the sec4s and 5s!"
Heh.
Yes, we want our last learning journey okay.
And he said it'll be fun and less work.
Unlike last time we even had to come up with a report.
Actually I kinda doubt. That there will be LJ.
Because of H1N1.
Because its getting so near to Os as each day passes.
Though he said hes really trying to find a date and everything.
I think its difficult.
But the teachers. We must really salute I guess.
For planning every little thing in it.
Every single detail. Not even getting any resources from vendors.
&Thats just why, we must have this LJ.

But anyway it was really funny while he did his faces.
He gave the glare.
It'd probably crack anyone up.
Especially if you compare him with how he was last year.
Woah.
Last year Mr Lee just meant scoldings and shoutings to me.

He also made fun of. Ahem. Fann. Ahem.
But I agree with what he said.
Overly rebonded hair. Hahaha.

Do you knowwwwwwww,
I haven't been able to find my spray spray anywhere now.
And that means I've to look for a new spray and have a new smelllll. x.x
I take really long to find a smell.
Because its has to be acl-ish. :/

Ah well.
Where did you gooooo?

In other words,

2009-06-30T15:40:00.002+08:00

Its only the second day of school.
I've been tired both days in school.

And and and and
Somebodyyy took my Emath book! :(

2009-06-29T17:16:00.008+08:00

Homework

Many a times I don't like how it plays such a big part in my life.

I think laoshi will kill me.
But aiya.
My fault.

Hot and Cold

2009-06-28T23:33:00.005+08:00

Soon it'll be the start of a new race.
And it'll be about time to really let go of choir.

It's the very last day of what they named "holidays".
I haven't finished some work but I'm leaving it.
The day was filled with feelings from total opposites though.

Firstly.
During brunch I was kind of told off by my father.
Because I came home that late yesterday.
Well it was late, I've to admit it.
Quite very late.
And yeah, he finished off with. "You're a girl you know."

That was the first, not-so-nice sign.

After which the day was pretty good.
I finished math.
Started Physics.
Thought about History.
Got my contacts.
I planned my whole day.
I was planning to even read up on some work.

But here comes.
Something that almost totally blew me off.
Because brother isn't home and grandma can't contact Brother.
Mother has to iron Brother's army clothes apparently.
Father was out. As usual.
I had to go to Grandma's house to get food. That was meant for my Brother.
Even Grandma knew.
I don't eat those that she had cook today.

I couldn't help it.
I was irritated.
It takes alittle more than an hour to get there.
It was 4 already.
I can't keep to my plans.

The last day of the holidays.
I really wanted it to myself.
No disruptions.
No annoying nags.
Just a simple every day.

&Because of the biasedness ever since Brother went to army, visiting Grandma and staying at home sometimes really feels like shit.

But I went anyway.
And Grandma made me feel like crying when I left her house.

Then I just told myself to forget it.

The start of school.
The acceleration of stress.
The lack of sleep.
Are you prepared for it?

But theres this stress relieving game at the handphone zone.
&There'll be a piano at the canteeen.
Pretty cool.

The memories

2009-06-28T23:11:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, Natalie asked me,

"How come you all two don't play piano still can become sectional leaders one ah?"

Well I didn't really know what to say. Hah.
But it was nice singing with her when Row1 sang with Row2.
Really really, somehow it caught me by surprise.

It was a really memorable day over at SAJC yesterday.
I was out for about, 16 hours.
Now that feels alittle exaggerated. But it was 0730 to 2330.

It was my very, very last performance.
Maybe the last performance ever in my whole life.
The feeling wasn't overwhelming but it was amazing.
It felt different from other performances.

Though we had our obstacles.
The last minutes of no conductress and no pianist.
Hah, I'd have almost thought we couldn't make it.
But we did.

I really enjoyed myself on stage during the evening concert.
I left the stage feeling accomplished.
We probably got high when we got back into LT1, the holding room.
We burst out singing our SYF pieces.
It felt better than SYF itself.
Ms Lim even accompanied us for White Horses.

I remember, taking photos. Refusing to take photos.
Exploring the school. Not exactly since it was only the first level.
But we checked out boards. :B
The motivation the teachers all provided.
Ms Lim's voice.
The ~~irritaing~~ not very nice bells by smps dancers.
The small little pervert boy who was the only guy in the room who kept looking at Michelle when she wanted to change.
The reciting with the cheerleaders backstage.
That man who shouts at us to get things done and gave me the first impression of a gay. { I'm sorry }
Trying to create new ways to bow so that Grace won't give a free show of her, ahem.
The "Smiley face" which made the room burst into laughter.
The hair sprayyyy.
Getting woah-ed at the amount of glitterrrr.
The fussing over make up.
The last hugs.
The goodbyes.
Natasha's "Wah-biang" in lowest tone I ever heard.
Changing in LT1.
Macs after everything.

Gosh there are just too many thingss.

The feeling of sweetness of that day is overwhelming.
It was a be-ee-ay-you-ti-ful day.
Well done, Choir.
Well done, Chinese dance.

I really wished the sec4s were more complete though.

Didn't quite catch

2009-06-25T19:53:00.003+08:00

They said that theres still chance the holidays could be extendedddd.
But actually I quite see no point in it.
Still remember Ms Noraini called yesterday to tell me about 'first day of school.'
I kinda forgot what she said because I was doing something else.
Just gave the acknowledgement that I know shes talking about something.

&Really,
I wouldn't exchange my September holidays for one extra week in 'June' holidays.

Sigh.
Heard NYP has extended holidays though.

http://www.ourfeistyprincess.com/
When you look at children, your heart melts.
Unless you don't like them.

If everything goes well,

2009-06-25T00:55:00.000+08:00

I hope I'll be able to wake up on time tomorrow.

&Pray for no falls.
Just had to.

Nobody answers Questions.

2009-06-22T23:37:00.002+08:00

Actually no.
Nobody answers my questions.

Okay not really.
But stilllllll! ):

{Edited}
Please please tell me that I'm not insane when I read the title of FY's post and burst out laughing.
It was - "Who is this?" :D
&I remembered how I was thinking about her question and wondering about what I was holding.
I asked Who is this showing her what I was holding.
When I was supposed to ask What is this.
The thing was.
I didn't realise it straight away!
Probably got alittle stoned. Too many things in mind.

Can't help but wait.

2009-06-20T01:19:00.001+08:00

Tell me about the abrupt nights.

I need. To. Stop. Losing track of time.

Taking a break

2009-06-19T22:17:00.007+08:00

Yesterday was one leg-breaking day.
Heh, okay not really.
But it felt like I walked so long, or maybe something was wrong with my leg.
It was aching the moment I reached home.
Couldn't sleep properly that night.
But I guess it wasn't just that that was the matter.

The only really funny thing was how, when two people get far too engrossed into conversations, we don't notice other things.
Almost missed the mrt stop twicee.
Aiks.
&Time passed far too fast yesterday, I thought it was 5 when it was already 7.

Travelled quite alot though, I covered the whole red line.
Well, almost.

Managed to get some stuffs at least. :)

After which today, I decided to meet my godsister.
Funny how it was supposed to be a study date.
I couldn't get myself to study at all.
I'm so, very sorry. :/

I kept talking, and talking, and talking.
There were so many things to say.
I had to keep reminding myself she needs to study.
Heh.

But the scariest thing was people.
Though it was cool cos we saw Ben, the chinese host.
But there were people like this man who kept whistling or singing out loud in mac.
&Another man, whom I met on the bus home many times before.
Not many, but twice.

Hes this guy who would use the tactic of asking you the time.
Keeps sniffing too, into a tissue.

Well I felt someone looking, so I turned to notice this familiar man's face.
And he still stared when I was looking at him.
So I told my godsister and we both got quite freaked.
We packed and decided we should really go.
It was then he started trying to call out to us and ask for the time.

We ignored, quickly packed.
Sigh.
Why are there always these people arounddddd.

Even the other time when I was at macs with her.
This partially drunk guy came to sit at the table beside her.
And he had beer.
&He looked like he was going to flashhh.
So we ran too.
Not really but we got away.

I'm wondering if I blogged about it before.

But anyway.
It was a nice day out.
I would have died being at home.

How do I ask,

2009-06-18T10:29:00.008+08:00

Sigh.
I find it scary when I can't differentiate Virtual from Reality.
Because I'm trying to convince myself that it was a dream.
I wasn't sure if I received a particular text message last night.
I woke thinking I've a message to reply.
But it wasn't in Inbox.

I don't have a bedside table.
So tell meeeee,
Did I dream of it,
Or I deleted it accidentally. ):

It should be a dream because I remembered that the time of the message was 01:62.
Theres no such thing.

But it can't be a dream because..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

It was too real.

Did I really wake at 05:48 to see that messaging icon.

It was a dream after all.
But it makes me think. Because it happened before the other time.
Some time in April.
&I took it for real so I replied for what I thought I received.
Nothing unusual happened.
But now I'm doubting myself.

Waste of brain cells.

2009-06-17T17:18:00.004+08:00

Nah, I'm not so silly.

What a day.
It was at first pretty much a mess.
But I guess its much better now.
It was almost, one-of-those-days.

Went swimming alone today.
Felt, I-don't-know-ish.
I think I got tanner, just alittle. The not obvious kind.
The biggest joke is the tan line on my legs though.
But it'll fade. :X
I remember how I almost couldn't walk probably when I first came out of the pool.
Felt funny at the legs after all the laps.
But balance came backkkkk.

Was debating with myself whether or not to walk to Tiong Bahru from Delta since I wanted to get on the swings which are at Tiong Bahru park.
Had some secondary one memories there.
I'm not too sure if they call it that actually.
Its just the park beside Gan Eng Seng Secondary.

I did walk in the end.
But the thing was that it was probably around 34 degrees out.
I forgot that the swing seats were made of black rubber.
The perfect absorber of heat.
So I couldn't get on them since I was with fbts.
Stayed alittle and walked to Tiong Bahru.

You seee right.
I really knew that whenever I go to Tiong Bahru I'd see people I knoww.
This time I met my Godsisterrrrs.
Though it was kinda shocking somehow.
I wasn't sure if they were them but their backs were too familiar.
So *taptap, hello.
Mmm.
I left soon after though, to continue looking around for things.
There wasn't anything I wanted to get, so I just looked to see if there was something I might wanna get.
Heh.

Is this post meaningless?
Aye but anyway.
Actually I've quite alot to say but I'm skipping it.

Thank you though. :D

Oh by the way, I know computer language very well.

Just one more thing,

2009-06-16T13:15:00.005+08:00

Sorry I cheated.
My handwriting couldn't make it today. :X
Anyway, hope your morning went fine!

It scared me.

2009-06-16T12:05:00.004+08:00

Theres something wrong with my voice today.
Gosh,
I was probably talking too loudly yesterday. :(

I will will will must must must find a day.
Have skipping rocks and/or stones.
I wanna throw rocks in the sea.
Maybe.. Mmmmm.

Bring me there,

2009-06-16T09:50:00.004+08:00

Credits to DeviantArt

Went back to henderson waves with FY yesterdayyyyy.

I don't know why but I really like how it feels to just be around there.
The wind, though I felt was quite scary for a start &a bother since it messes up your hair and your food flys, even my flipflops did.
But it was awesomee.
There are even the times when the wind gives a sudden strong swipe that might send you flying.
But its like a wake up.
I misssss the wind.

So many things that happened, I think we made quite some noise up there.
But its comforting because it feels like you can just scream your head off about everything, no ones gonna hear you.

The crowd comes but they don't stay either.
So the noise goes after awhile and we'll start it again. :B

There was just oneeeee thing I didn't like.
Which was how the bridge felt like it was shaking when the crowd left or when a child starts jumping.
It felt like the bridge might fall apart or something.

Though weird weird stuff happened on the bridge as well, I think henderson wave is too lovely a place to be plagued by it.
I'm not sure if I had the correct use of words but mmm.
The aeroplanes, birds, view, atmosphere beats it all.

Oh &I totally forgot that I went back on my pledge.
It really really slipped off my mind.
&I remember clearly, I pledged not to waste paper with my scribbles.
But I realised I still dooooooo.
Aye.

Anyway, there was also this cute little boy who would fiddle with his parent's tripod and camera.
&He looked like he would be a professional photographer next time.
Hah, the image was just really adorable.
Sigh.

After which we headed to the nearest shopping mall which was vivo.
I realised too that dinner's always a problem.
Can't help it when people are out with me.
I can never make decisions.
Or put it this way, I rather not make decisions.
I'm a followerrr, but at least I know whens the right time. :B

Brother's off to Bintannnnn. So it feels as if hes in the army.
Just that I know hes having fun away.
I'll just pray that all will be safe.
Mmm.

What should I do for todayyyy. :/

Sophie's World.

2009-06-14T10:37:00.001+08:00

The Devil finds work for the idle hands.

I pack my bags thinking I'll go,But I never do.

2009-06-14T10:06:00.004+08:00

Things at home have been, a real frustration to me.
But only I feel this way. Or so I think.
Because its..
Sigh.

Shopping didn't work out yesterday.
I could feel the disappointment in the air.

Oh and to think its GSS now.
I can't help but agree with what Nerissa said the other day.
The real discounts, The real GSS is with the bras.
Hah.

I've lost everything I wanted to say.
I realised why.

Differences

2009-06-12T17:39:00.003+08:00

Schooooooools out.
About time already.
School hasn't just been tiring and everything, its been.. I can't find the word for it.

Well now that I've recovered for some time, I'm back, up and about going everywhere.
I have a feeling I'd spend the two weeks left going out.
There just isn't time for studying in a timetable for me.
I just have to force it out each time.
Sigh.

&Thinking about it, I think I only have a week since the last week is devoted back to choir.
Hopefully, just hopefully it'll still feel the same.
Because even thinking of it, it doesn't.

There are too many things I want to do.
Too many.
It isn't the same if I leave them till after Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhs. :(

2009-06-08T17:50:00.002+08:00

The teachers aren't in any better state actually.
I'd say that we're in better state than them.
Ought to really look at the mess.

I remember when I went to tell Ms Siti that I didn't have my file.
I was dreading what she was gonna say to me.
But it was almost as if she was on the verge on pulling her hair out.
She raised her voice at everyone. ._.

Anyway, I found out that I don't have to go to school tomorrow anymore.
Thanks to everyone who couldn't find their worksheets too.

But I was all prepared to go.
Aiya.
What luck.

&I lost the site I used to read love stories frommmm. Ahhh.

2009-06-08T15:13:00.003+08:00

Only of the few songs I could appreciate that was sang by Adam.
&Its up here, because I think the world is going crazy.
Not exactly.
Maybe just especially today.

I feel, alright-ish today.
Dare not take my temperature so much.
Occasionally the neverending cough and runny nose, sometimes they leave for awhile.

Anyway.
I really think I might give it up here.
But I don't know.

Have yet to decide if I should go for brother's graduation tomorrow.
Then I'll still have to go back to school..

Should've seen how fiery Ms Siti and Ms Ng were.
Geez.

Weakest link,

2009-06-04T12:45:00.005+08:00

I think I forgot I could fall sick too.

Sigh.
I just hate how I'd drift in and out of sleep.
How I can't even sleep well in the night, waking up dozens of times.
How I shiver but I'm all burning in the inside.
How I've to sweat in my sleep.
How my head throbs.
How I can't think.
How my brain seems to be burning.

I was getting well when it was around 11 in the night last night.
From the highest yesterday which was 38.9, my temperature went down to 37.7.
So it felt like I'd be able to attend school though I didn't know if I should.

In the night. I woke at 2am, 5am, 6am, 7am, 9am, 10am.
I woke and two plus plus to figure that my temperature went back up to 38.9.
I woke at 5am to realise it has reached 39.4

Didn't make it to school then, once in a long time.

Ayeyaiyai.
Now from 39.4 I'm down to 38.3
I believe its a good sign.
I won't be dropping by choir camp but I hope they're having fun.
Mm.

She was telling my how 38.3 was a high temperature and 38.9 can make me dumb.
But I don't like to see doctors. :/

With the same meanings.

2009-06-03T14:51:00.003+08:00

Felt like I haven't been here for some time.
Well I'm supposed to have alot to say but I think I'll just blog, briefly.

Events have passed.
Chinese Os.
ACJC concert.
Choir practice.

Now actually I don't think I'll have much to say.
Chinese Os passed quicker than I thought.
I wasn't tensed, not until I figured I was really doing the Os while doing Paper II.
Because somehow it didn't feel like I was taking an O level paper.
Probably because of too much Chinese on ordinary school days, it just felt like another paper to do.
I didn't feel the urgency of anything.
But since its over now, lets not talk about it.

Mmmmm.
ACJC concert was really a disappointment that same night.
I was really tired already though, I thought I might have slept in the concert hall if not for the things that kept me awake.
But many many silly things happened in the concert hall.
&The guy who sits behind me has stinky shoes.
Inconsiderate, tsk tsk.

What I really loved about the concert only, was Ms Ho's solo.
When I saw her walk out of the side doors, I was really really excited.
The whole row of us starting screaming like crazy for her.
Though I know thats inappropriate behaviour in a concert hall in the esplanade but I couldn't help it.
It was Ms Ho.
Even the people behind cheered with us for no rhyme nor reason.

There she stood alone, doing her solo with hundreds of pairs of eyes looking right at her.
She is really blessed with a beautiful voice.
Gosh, throughout that whole song I was having goosebumps.
&I almost cried actually, while I sat there looking at her do her solo.
It just. Was very amazing to me.
Your well respected teacher up on stage on her own singing with one of the most beautiful voices you've ever heard.
It made me feel very very proud to have known her.
Mmmm.
Even the girl behind whom I heard, "Never attented a choir concert before" said "Wah, shes good leh."
:D

&I really don't mean to say this but while the combined choir sang towards the end of the concert, you could see the difference in spirit, in those who belong to the alumni, and the main choir itself.
The alumni was great, really.
Yes, I've to give credit to the main choir.
But it could have been much much better.

&As Alicia said, trying to make herself feel better, maybe it was just the choice of song.

Aye.

Choir practice yesterday.
I don't know why, I can't lie to myself about it.
I didn't enjoy myself.

I was feeling really drained somehow.
Probably from the lessons beforehand and the weather.
I thought I could have dropped dead on the floor or something.
My head was throbbing alittle, and a voice was screaming, "I need to sleep!"

It just felt different as a whole.
I didn't like it.
Most of the times I coudn't register the things Ms Grace was saying and needed some time.
But I still forced myself to get whats to be done, done.

I hope it'll be different next time.
I think it was mood swings.
Sigh.

Why is professional sharing day such a bother? :(
Actually, I just don't feel good today.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrr. @_@

We're all in this together.

2009-05-29T17:57:00.000+08:00

Well so here goes the last day for Chinese Intensive.
I think the whole class was going crazy towards the end.
When laoshi dismissed us, it was only then everyone really felt the jitters.
You can really see the stress in the eyes of all.
Then you see the people who doubt their potential, and those who might break down any time.

But to anyone out there taking the paper on Monday,
Don't be afraid!
Just a clear and fresh mind on Monday, calmed and free.
Jiayou!

I really need to thank laoshi.

I need a Chinese teacher now though, because laoshi couldn't have enough time and I have 13 unmarked compositions.
Ayeyaiyai.

What a day.

2009-05-28T17:59:00.006+08:00

My toes have been hurting.

Well school today was really quite a significant one.
Because laoshi walked out on us.
She almost did the other time.
This time she really did.

Who could have blamed her?
The chatters were way obvious.
Loud.

Laoshi said it happened every year.
She didn't want it to happen this year though.
I was really listening then!
Aye.

Since we have three classes combined together, I must say it might get really hard to handle.
&Laoshi is worrying for us everyday.
Really anxious for our paper when she isn't the one taking it.
Everyday you hear her say,
“没有时间了。时间真的不够。我真的很希望你们会安静地听我说。"

I was really glad she came back.
&I thought it was sweet that the whole class of 5/2 went to get her.
Some from 4/6 went tooo.

Laoshi took the whole of today to go through work in the end.
3 classes stuffed into 4/6 in the afternoon.
Sigh.

I think its really bad how short my attention span is.
By the afternoon I only paid attention for maybe abit lesser than the first hour.
Then I started writing and drawing on tissue, trying to fold a flower with it too.
I felt guilty so I stopped and listened at the end.
But, @_@.

&I just remembered what Gary said during the adam khoo session the other day having seen a lamborghini just now.
He said it was dumb, to pay so much for a lamborghini for people to look down on you.
Why didn't I think of that.
Hah.

2009-05-26T18:31:00.004+08:00

您好！

您知道吗？不知为什么，有时我就是不想来到这里…

今天还算过得不错吧，
但就是像昨天一样，天气非常热。真令人讨厌。

只剩下几天，考试就要到了。
我准备得不太好，但是我却不会感到很慌。

我的华语不会强。
但我想我还是会尽力把这考试考好。
我也希望大家也会考到好成绩，达到自己的目标。

用起华语，我真的不会表达自己，请您原谅。
我知道我所说到的这些也可能有了错误，或用了错字还是什么之类的。也请您原谅。

好啦，我也该停“笔”了。
不然就会乱说一大堆。

2009-05-25T17:55:00.003+08:00

Its late, but still.
I like the photo.
Every result show, you see Kris's face like that. :B

Facts feeder.

2009-05-24T09:39:00.004+08:00

Oh &I just had a few amusing things to share.
Facts again.
Mmm.

I didn't think I'd believe some of them but I searched them upp.
Especially the butterful one!
Mymy..

The original name for the butterfly was flutterby.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

2009-05-24T08:54:00.002+08:00

I'm trying it at somewhere new.
&I might just leave this place.

Ab-strooos

2009-05-20T18:04:00.004+08:00

I guess I didn't make it here last night.
Pardon me for that.

Well the 'contest' has come to a close last night.
Everyone got it correct lor.
I thought it'd have been harder. :X

So whichever answers like,
Last row, eighth from the left counting the teacher,
Last row, second from the right not counting the teacher,
Fourth row, the girl with the short hair,
Its all correct.

I'm the one up there on the very top row with the short hairrrr.

Everyone said it was easy either because of the eyes or because I just don't look chinese.

The past few days have been, I don't know.
I feel pretty numb with Chinese.
The supposedly marking days for Monday and Tuesday was a date with Chinese in school.
And actually Chinese can be quite alright.
Its just that the duration is too long.
So when the teacher goes on for really long I wouldn't be listening anymore.
Aye. Short attention span you see.
&I feel guilty for talking in class.
I know that Ms Wee is really really, wanting us to do our best.
&Looking at our chinese standard she also.. :/

Now school ends at five everydayyyy.

Chinese Os are just about a week away.
Hmm.

Ayeyaiyai.

2009-05-18T20:08:00.004+08:00

{Edited @Ways to answer.
It'll be something different here todayy.
I'm holding up a small little contest.
&This is open to just anyone who passes by.

The main objective of this game is to Spot ACL in the kindergarten photo below.
I doubt it'll be very difficult but stillll.
Theres a prize for the winners okay.
So just try your luck and pick one girl on the photo.

The ways to answer it?
Just type who you think is me, on the tagboard.
For example, Second row from the front, first girl from the left.
Mirror image luh huh.
Or course that isn't me.
I've decided you can text me the answer too after one last night, hah. :D

The rules.
Hmmm.
Enjoy yourself.

This is for fun really, and it doesn't matter if people do not participate.
I'll reveal the answerss tomorrow nightt!

No cluesssss, sorry. I think its quite obvious luh but mmmm.

Click to enlarge!

They take the lift.

2009-05-17T21:53:00.000+08:00

"You can hear me!"
"Nooooooo."
Hahaha. Tsk tsk.

Was out to Labrador yesterday with FY.
To tell you honestly, I was dreading the walk into Labrador since its so long in.
But I survived it in the enddd, maybe it wasn't all that long but its still long.
Longer than the usual walk-ins you'll have to walk to any other place.

Well most of the details are on her page again but I'll still talk talk about it.
Settled at other bench near the jetty since the jetty seemed packed.
Somehow there were alot of people fishing yesterday than usual.
I was wondering if they really do catch fish around there.
I mean, I haven't seen them done that.

The strawberry vanilla lollipop float isn't there anymoreeee, they changed it to the round round orange thing.
Mm.
I still remember the moment we settled I spotted a snake on the nearby treee.
It was really scary cos the snake looked all skinny, black, long and slimy.
It was after a tree lizard.
The snake leapt from one trunk to the otherrr.
It looked like it had no control over its tail.
Its just weird somehow because, I wonder how the snake seems to glide so smoothly with the tree trunk having a really rough bark.

The sky looked pretty that day and we were decifering clouds too!
I remember one which looked like a poodle's head with a hat at first, and then I saw it also looked like an old man with a cowboy hattt.
Reminded me of Jay.
There was another which looked like a dinosaur to me but was a heart to FY.
Sounds like a major differencee.

Somehow I did feel just alittle like a walking wiki then, having read up on alot of facts recently since there isn't much to do when I'm at home.
I just kept saying themmm.
Tsk, I feel so silly.
But look at this FY,
Ahem ahem.

Is black a color?

No, black is not a color;
a black object absorbs all the colors of the visible spectrum and reflects none of them to the eyes.

The grey area about black:
A black object may look black, but, technically, it may still be reflecting some light. For example, a black pigment results from a combination of several pigments that collectively absorb most colors. If appropriate proportions of three primary pigments are mixed, the result reflects so little light as to be called "black." In reality, what appears to be black may be reflecting some light.

In physics, a black body is a perfect absorber of light.

Is white a color?

Yes, white is a color. White reflects all the colors of the visible light spectrum to the eyes.

That solves whether black is a colour or nottt!
I told you. :B

Anyway there was this little angmoh kid which was really cute with his wooden, no paddle bicycle.
Just look at how kids have no worries.
His smile and laughter showed his joy.
It was as if he knew how to spend his day like there was no tomorrow.
Aye.

There was a photography group which came to take photos of the sunset.
It was really quite a amusing sight.
All with the professional cameras and tripod stand.
There was also a tour group I believe.
&This lady who sat up straight with a hat over her head where you can't see her eyes, she didn't move at alll for I think almost or maybe over an hour.
It was really amusing and at the same time I was wonderinggg, how does she do thatt.

Lets skip to where we headed back to anchorpoint for dinner.
Especially after KFC, I felt like I just needed to keep laughing.
Funny how we kept doing the same things.
I couldn't control my laughter on the escalator and the people in front of me seemed to have the look of, "Are you laughing at me."
So much for classic moments.
Even when FY was erasing the smiley face I drew on the table and the first rub led to a longer line.
We said Oooops together and burst out laughing.
I even wondered if I heard wrongly. xB

Ayeyaiyai.

It was an entirely fun-filled day which I've never had for a long time.
Probably one of the best days for this year.

I remember how we manipulated words to ahem. ~~bully~~ stop each other from doing silly things.

Though I know I left out details, but I shall stop here in case I never get to end. :B

Thank you for such a beautiful day!
:D

2009-05-16T11:00:00.007+08:00

I absolutely love this.

May not have known.

2009-05-15T01:10:00.002+08:00

I realised how silly the wait is.
Sigh.

"Cold ah,"

2009-05-15T00:26:00.000+08:00

To think I forgot about it, now I really remember it.
Such a classic moment. :D

It was the last paper todayyyyyy!
Still doesn't feel like it leh.
Probably because it really feels just like tests, just having the real durations.
More drainingggg.

Went out with FY then after.
Anchorpoint to Ikea to Iluma to ArtFriend to Bugis to Vivo.
Waaaawesome, waaaawesome.

Artfriend was really an experience.
I was amazed by all the calligraphy pens/markers and all the different different colourrrrs.
Plus all the cool things I've never seen beforeee or thought only existed in cartoons.
It was really lovely.
So many things I'd get, if only I had moolahhh.
Made me feel like being artsy.
That feeling rarely comes, never survives.
Heh.

I remember feeling exasperated over the bus driver who can't drive properlyyy and couldn't stop jerking.
I thought I was gonna get bus-sickkk.
&The weird atmosphere over at Iluma with all the super turbo aircons blowing right at you.
And every amusing thing that happened.

Though today felt sweet, I can feel the, I-don't-know-what-you-call-that for chinese intensive.
Ayaiyai.

Last chances to not feel stressed till the end of this weekenddd!

So many things to look forward to.
Especially the end of Osssssssssssssss!

What if I forget to go to school tomorrow. :/

&&Kris got into the final twoooooo!
Actually the Final three are an awesome trio.
They all deserved the win.
Mmmm.

2009-05-13T15:18:00.002+08:00

Its what happens when one's
Physics-ly challenged.
Heh.

Just one more dayyyyy!

2009-05-12T11:13:00.007+08:00

How now brown cowwww,
I don't feel like studying after so many days of holiday-ing

Yerrrr.

{Edited.
Now Sur sum cor da is ringing in my headdd.
Ahhhh..

Could someone help me with this.
Though I think no one would respond.
Just if someone does, anyone at all. I'm sincerely thankful.
Help me choose one;
Livejournal, Wordpress or Stay.

{Edited II.
I think I'm running out of time but I don't feel a sense of urgency.

{Edited III.
MUG MUG MUG MUG MUG MUG MUG MUG.
It isn't working.
Hmmm.
Maybe I should meditate or something.

Did you knowwwww,

2009-05-11T23:42:00.003+08:00

Some things I never ever knew.
Especially the praying mantis. Ahem.

If you were to roll a lung from a human body and out flat it would be the size of a tennis court.

Slugs have 4 noses.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.

Psychic

2009-05-11T17:40:00.008+08:00

Yesterday was probably one of my worst nights.
I was struggling in bed with my worst headache ever.
Imagine if I had it during an examination.
Whooo, I'll die.

The pain was horrible.
You feel your head throbbing.
Its like you've a bomb inside but it just isn't exploding.
I'm glad I managed to fall asleep.
I'm glad I had company.
I woke up feeling better though still alittle, gorggy throughout the day.

Yknw that day, I forgot which day.
I was complaining to my brother about school and examinations and just everything.
Then I asked him, "Do you think I should really go to a JC?"

I've been thinking alot about it, probably because its May during the exam period.
Chinese Os are coming so soon.

&I dreaded the reply.
But he said Yes.

For someone like me, I listen to others because I can't make decisions by myself.
Thats the irritating part about me.

Sigh.

I also asked if I should work during December holidays and all.
Asked if I should really rish spotting questions for humanities.
Ranted about how JC life doesn't seem appealing.
Of course he can say it'll be okay.
Since he studied the day before his Alevels and could freaking pass everything while he spent every other day on the computer.
Lucky nut.
Its a pity he doesn't put his intelligence into full use.

How nowwwwwwww.
Wheres my brown cow. @_@

I told him how math just doesn't seem to be going my way.
&He makes everything sound so easy.
Physics also.
Until when I mentioned electricity then he said that might be challenging.

I really really, can't appreciate the education system.

Ahhhhh, omg.

&Yknwwwww, Brother says you can't drop any subject after having paid for it for Os.
Hurrrr.
FEEEEEEEEEEZZZIIIKS! :(

Alright I'm getting off here.
Just wanna leave with a eeky fact;

A frog can't empty its stomach by vomitting. To empty its stomach contents, a frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.

I'm dying to explain The difference you make

2009-05-10T18:58:00.005+08:00

My brother just left for the army again some time ago.
For a moment he was, "Huh, have to go back leh."
But its okay, he'll be back on Saturday unlike being away for 2 weeks!

I wanted to blog about yesterdayyy but its all in FY's page already.
Rawwwr.

Yesterday just felt,
I need help on vocab! :/
Okay I found the word.
Waaaawesome.

Finally after the so many long days of stress, troubles and frustration, there was a day of joy and peace.
It was a great deal of comfort, &at the end of the day I just felt as ease.
&Yknw, the whole world just needs to know that 26 is ours. :D

Sigh.
From all the amusements to all the joy.
What else can I say?

Art Friend sooon! &Labrador alright!
I need to get to henderson waves too, I miss that place.

Theres so much more I wanted to say but I can't remember anything at allll.
Seeee, thats just the problem with me.
Forgetting.
I want to forget things I should and not forget things i shouldn'tttt.

Didn't get mom something for mother's day though.
I couldn't figure out something I'd want her to have that'd be useful.
My brotherrrr didn't think something out for me either!
Tsk.

Fortuitous,

2009-05-09T09:42:00.003+08:00

[fawr-too-i-tuhs]

Theres something I can't forget from yesterday.
Just at that moment everything else felt. I can't find the word.

I was feeling lazy to talk about it but I guess I still will.

Since father wouldn't be home yesterday my mom decided we have dinner at the new Koufu over at Dawson.
It was about six-ish so I asked her what if brother came home without a key.
Then she said he wouldn't be out so early. Maybe reach home at eight-ish nine.

So we were walking over to Dawson, talking about father.
&When we look up we see this tan guy walking towards us in his army uniform.
Honestly he had the look that he couldn't wait to go home to rest.
So my mother said, "Eh? That one look like korkor leh."
&I was like, "Really meh, no lah."

But ehhhhhhhhhhh.
It was my brother yknw.
My mother and I couldn't stop laughing.
I can't believe I still can't recognise my own brother!

Probably cos he looks like he has lost so much weight.
Now look not nice already.

Then we had dinner and stufff while brother told us about army.

That period of time just felt. Warm.
I don't know.

&It just felt awesome that I have my brother. :D

2009-05-08T22:01:00.000+08:00

Don't ask me why!
I just felt like going greeeen.

Alright in the end I'm still changing colours. @_@

2009-05-08T17:18:00.003+08:00

You asked for it.

Losing track,

2009-05-07T11:05:00.003+08:00

Funny how I kept thinking that today would be Friday yesterday and how today feels like Wednesday but its Thursday.

Probably to total repeat of yesterday.

@_@

2009-05-06T12:47:00.001+08:00

Its just the mid years.

Inevitable as before,

2009-05-05T22:20:00.003+08:00

This feeling of..
Argh.

2009-05-03T18:11:00.001+08:00

Yikes,
Bustedddddd.

Time Machine

2009-05-01T22:10:00.004+08:00

It races.
Lub dub lub dub lub dub lub dub lub dub lub dub lub dub..

But my heart aches after those steps of farewell.

Sit, you realised you're going somewhere you rather not then.
Blast the music as you recall.
You realised peace is at those hours.

At the same time I couldn't believe it but how I wished I could have it on replay.

I went back in time.

I feel much better now.

Thank you.

2009-05-01T08:29:00.008+08:00

Make it work,

2009-04-28T15:32:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday, Mom!

School was tolerable today. Carrying flowers to school is a good way to start the day. :B

I forgot to wish my mother early in the morning today though, &I felt really bad.
Throughout the day I was thinking of how I should let this day pass.
Mom's working the afternoon shift today from 1500 to 2300.
So its as good as saying I won't be able to see her anymore.
But I've decided to surprise her at her work place.
Can't wait. :D

Remember to bring your thermometer, all. :B

More than words could speak,

2009-04-28T15:15:00.008+08:00

I had to resort to using Blogger to upload this.
Aye.

Before the day started I knew I wanted to make it a waaaawesome day.
I did, I did, I did.
We both did. :B
Maybe this was why I always loved simplicity and how it just is special in itself.
The day of 26 was just lovely.
&every one of 26 will be.

Not granted time.

2009-04-27T15:45:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was waaaawesome.
That word sums it all up.
Though there was the rain &alllll.
Its just that feeling thats in your heart.
Mmmm. :D
I'll sum it up another way another time okayyyy. :X

Today wasn't all that bad but its just singspiration I wanted to talk about.
Nope, not the singing.
The song.
Today we sang the song, Shout to the Lord.

Honestly when I heard the song start, my heart clenched.

Having depended on my love for choir ever since I was in Primary 3, leaving choir this year makes me feel awful.
I may have depended too much on choir, but I love it with everything I've got.

The song reminded of so many things.
I remembered singing the medley which consisted of Give thanks, Shout to the Lord and Hallelujah to the Lamb.
I remembered how I struggled with my note for the Alto part &always had to look for Melanie for help and ranting because I found the Alto part so weird.
Then I remember glaring at whoever singing the melody near me cos they keep confusing me.
Then I remember how Nerissa asking if she looks stiff doing the snapping of fingers and moving left to write.
Then I remember loving to do the go up one step for Hallelujah.
Then I remember always forgetting to spread to the side.

But as time went I managed to grasp my note.
I loved singing the medley.

Sighhh.
I wanted to cry, I can't deny.

Being in the choir just means too much.
Leaving it is like losing part of my life.

&These days I really really miss dang lor zui, I keep singing itttt.
Aye.

It says it alllllll, ♥

2009-04-26T00:00:00.004+08:00

Click to enlarge, pardon the bad quality. :(
I'm also sorry this is a scheduled posttttt. But stilllll.
acl lovessss fy. :D

Alakazam.

2009-04-23T22:32:00.006+08:00

Do you see the stars that I seeeee?
^^

Tomorrow still doesn't seem like an examination dayyy.
Geez.

My brother's coming home tomorrow!
Wonder how he looks like actually.
&It seems like many guys go through major turning points in army, wonder how he'd become in time to come.
Mmmmmm.

Genuinely,

2009-04-22T19:33:00.003+08:00

I think Chinese Dancers are Awesome, Awesome.

Whoooooooo.

Congrats, congrats, congrats, congrats! :D

Deal with it.

2009-04-22T17:10:00.004+08:00

Life goes on.

&Only 5 minutes of feeling resentful each day to control.

I'm so thankful for the people around me.

My brother's gonna be home the day after tomorrow! :D

I still love all of you.

2009-04-21T19:09:00.011+08:00

&So we got the results. We fell short.

I never wanted to dwell too much into this and I wouldn't.
To tell you honestly, up in the hall of our own school for rehearsals, we sounded awesome, choir.
Really.
Just that up the stage at VCH, we didn't create what we could at our fullest potential.
I'm just happy to say that all of us put in our best, and the thought of it is heart warming already.

Though I got to know the results yesterday, I can't say I didn't expect a silver.
After SYF, I was overwhelmed by gladness. I was really high though fatigue slowly crawled its way over me.
But after I calmed down, it was only then I started to think about how the performance went.
It felt like a high silver, near Gold. Maybe Gold, but not bronze.

Of course, its not okay to have a silver.
Its not okay at all.

But its a fact I can never deny.
How I wished something went wrong and there was a mistake in the results.
This kind of miracles don't happen.

Yesterday night I came on the computer and I saw how many juniors were praying for that Gold.
We're all disappointed.
I was really afraid of today.
I told myself I've to stay strong when we talk to the choir today, but I still broke down.

It was painful to see my choir mates disappointed, upset, unhappy.
As I stood in front of them, looked at all their faces, I couldn't find the words to say.
Even those who never looked like they ever cared, they felt it too.
&Especially when I saw AJ.
I couldn't hold my tears back anymore.

Nobody understands how it feels except all of us.

To tell you honestly I think SYF was one performance I really put my all into and I'm proud to say I did.
But yet it wasn't enough.

I don't like how Ms Chan and Ms Grace would take the blame many a times.
Even during the last rehearsal.
Ms Grace said it would be her fault, for not getting us well-prepared.
During other times Ms Chan would say that she didn't support us enough.

Because we're a team as a whole choir.
Its everyone's fault.
But we did a good job, like how Ms Grace said.

So lets all stay strong and move forward.
Its the whole journey that counts.

Now the direction has been changed to school academics and just school.
Feeling cca-less isn't nice.
I'm really going to miss all the choristers in school.
Every single one.

The pillar of my strength in each performance, Ms Grace, I gonna miss her like crazyyyyyy.
I still remember over the phone last night.
She congratulated me.
She said well done.
She said we're her best, always.
She said she will never give up on us, never abandon us.
All I could say was Thank you.
I knew she had very high expectations of us.
She gave us all her trust.
She believes in us more than anyone else.

She said this before,
If she wants a Gold, we better get it for her.
If she wants a Gold with Honours, we better get it for her.
&If we didn't get full marks on our first choice piece, shes going to leave.
But yet she comes back to say she'll never give up on us.
I'm glad.

Please please juniors, don't take Ms Grace for granted.
Because she would never be unreasonable.
She wants us to learn, wants to stretch us to reach our fullest potential.
Ms Grace is awesome, I tell you.
Awesome.

Like how she said this SYF will be different.
It really was different.
I was on the verge of crying while singing Dang Lor Zui on stage.
I loved that song and its sweet story.
Ayeeee.

So many things I've learnt in choir. Yet it has to end.
Even in choir, I've learnt tolerance.

I mean no offence, no harm, but for example Alicia.
Who is known to be the tyrant. The really fierce one.
If you never knew, she does ask me if she was very mean if she scolded someone after choir.
In the past, Alicia seemed so fierce I wasn't in favor of her.
But today I'd say that Alicia is one of the best choir mates I've ever had.
The friendly one who will help you when you're in need.
There are so many sides of people.
To some, you'd see the flaws as time goes.
To some, you see their lovely side.

Goshhhhhhh.
I'm gonna really miss Weitian and Yooobin too!

Its only this year I felt this bond within choir. This special kind of connection with everyone.
Previously I never, choir always used to be very mechanical and we just come in for practices, not to have fun with everyone else and make new friends, create new friendships.

I am really thankful for the choir comm toooooo.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Without Ms Grace, choir cannot.
Without choir, Ms Grace will not.
When Ms Grace and Choir work together,
Miracles happen.

.
I love that.
Without teachers too, the same thing happens.

But just one more thingggggg, I can't wait for my brother to be back this Friday! :D

Ohohoh, &I'm praying for Chinese dance, :B
Bet they were awesome. :D

Not the time to lose faith.

2009-04-19T20:31:00.005+08:00

"Choonling, look at me.
We can do it."

I thank Ms Grace for that bit of assurance.
I thank seniors, for all their support.

Especially Rachel and Oviyum who left a letter with Ms Chan the other time.
That very sentence, "When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." rings in my head.

Tears of frustration, sadness, hopelessness, we had them all.

Tomorrow's the day.
In about 12 hours and abit more.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

My dreams

2009-04-19T08:09:00.003+08:00

Well, I don't think I'll make it here later.
The night will start earlier today and the morning will start much earlier than before tomorrow.
I still can't believe that the date I'm looking at is 19th of April.

Sigh.
Its just.
Make it
or
Break it
time.

Go choirrrrrrrr.
We shall give our all no matter what.

Last 'rehearsal' today for me.
It was supposed to be yesterday but. Lets not talk about it.

2009-04-18T20:01:00.006+08:00

But do you know what syf means to me?

{Edited I,
It gets scary how it feels like we're no where near.

It was a bad day, I can't let you know.

Contradiction

2009-04-17T23:44:00.006+08:00

Brother's coming home on the coming Fridayyyyyyy!

One of the worst things of his absence is the fact that no one switches off the lights after me anymore.

Hmmmm.

Spells unimportance.

2009-04-17T23:26:00.000+08:00

Just about 48 hours left.
Had that sudden rush of adrenaline as I saw different choir mates from wycf finish their syf and got their results.
But yet this adrenaline feels funny.
Its the adrenaline thats pulling me at different directions.
That excitment but also tiny bit of fear. Anxiety.

Congratulations to choirs who completed their SYF and got excellent results! :B

Mmmm.
Got disappointments today throughout the day.
Didn't like it but I'm going to deal with it.

Yknw the best thing about choir.
Its something like swimming.
During choir its a habit for me to put everything behind.
Though I admit my attention span is really short.
But each time I start to drift, I make sure I snap myself back straight away so I won't miss things.
But of course, I don't drift while singing.
There'll be too many things up my mind, too many things to take care of.
Anyway, by the time choir ends, i'll feel much better for maybe what might be bothering me. Because somehow these matters seem so light and simple.
The same goes for swimming.
After whole hours of swimming, I feel that sense of accomplishment and the lighter feeling.
That was what I always liked about choir.

&After so many things have been happening, I never really got to see the many things with so many things going on.
And just today while I was congratulating Gretchen, I was showing my worry for SMSS choir.
&She said this.

Gretchen Lim like wad u told me..
Don't be afraid!
Get on that stage and sing your heart out.

If she hadn't said that, I'd have forgotten that I've said that.

I feel that one major thing lacking in choir is this together-ness to move forward with each person taking a step on the same lap together with their arms interlocked.
Really.
There are parts and parcels of us that we just really have only the time left to get together.
Of course this may as well be too late.
But still.
Its so important to be on the same page, on the same lap, on the same step.

Tomorrow will be good.
These last few hours of choir I'll have.
Aye.

Its all that matters.

2009-04-16T20:30:00.005+08:00

As the choirs start their SYF, it starts to get so scary.
Life revolves around choir these days and I like it this way.
Just maybe the downs of the ups and downs aren't pleasant.
But its just a nice feeling to actually know that theres a whole team going for competition with the same goal.
Though maybe some just, don't feel as passionate or whatsoever.
They are still part of us, and I trust that although they may feel the urgency of syf too late, its better than nothing already.

Today was a pleasant rehearsal.
A whole 4 hour rehearsal.
Honestly, towards the end of rehearsing for Dang Lor Jui, I was touched where we all held hands and sang.
It pricked my heart, I felt it.
The joy of singing.

Never will you easily find people to have the same joy for singing, hold hands and sing one of their favourite song.
Its just that when choir really ended and Wt started to cry, I then really felt it.
Yeah the Secondary Fours are leaving.
For real now.
&I'm one of them.

When I do eventually leave choir.
Okay actually, I shall not talk about this.

Mmm.
Just 3 more days to SYF.
Previously two hands were not enough to count down to SYF.
This time I only need one.

So little time left.
Too little time.

Its only a really faint light.

2009-04-15T19:33:00.004+08:00

Everyday I tell myself that I must believe, but days like today really just bring everything down.

What a mess.

2009-04-13T17:06:00.002+08:00

Its just so difficult to Believe.

A team means so much.

But to me, its different.

2009-04-11T21:27:00.001+08:00

The other day in CME it really made me think.
How white can lies get.
No whiter than black.

Slipping off the edge.

2009-04-11T20:06:00.003+08:00

So, my brother's really off to the army and I didn't get to send him off with mom.
Sigh.
Here I am actually wondering what they might be doing.
I wonder how my brother looks like, botak. :X
Feels emptier at home now.
When brother was here there'd still be the presence of someone even though hes just using his computer with the doors closed.
But it shall be okay, he'll come back soon!
In 14 days or so I think.
Mmm.
Till then, it shall be.

Its actually quite an adjustment at one.
Theres no one to rant at. :(

Choir today was.
After awhile, I really don't know how to describe it.
I think I'll just talk about the performance we had for the alumni.
Just before the performance, I wasn't feeling very good.
In the sense actually, I was quite upset.
Had a break before it, which I'm thankful for, &I made sure I got rid of it for the performance.

I did, and I'd say I enjoyed myself at the concert although there was just this tiny bit of nervousness seeping through me.
Afterall the alumni graduated for the choir and we've grown.
I'm proud of that.

The feedback was priceless.
Not just the good, of course with the bad.
&This criticism shall bring us to greater heights on the last few days leading to syf.

It was really nice to see Ms Ho come back and address the choir.
She talked about how a competition is not about winning and its not that we want to win but yet we want that win.
Such contradictions.
Ahh, I forgot how she put it exactly.
Too many said so much today, I can't remember much.
But I did feel the sense of, we must do it, we must do it.

Theres just one thing I don't like.
But.

Argh, forget it.

2009-04-11T18:40:00.010+08:00

"Its easier to show love,
than to scold."

Flood the emotions.

2009-04-10T21:22:00.004+08:00

It was a good day though the rain didn't let us go to Labradorr.
Mmm. :D

Pain much more than anything.

2009-04-09T22:13:00.003+08:00

Today was one of the most significant days of my time in choir.
The day I actually felt pathetically lousy.

It wasn't the performance, though it was quite, very bad.

My emotions were tearing myself apart, I didn't know what was right, or what was wrong.
I didn't know what was going on.
Was it even reality, I couldn't feel anything.

Honestly I didn't like how the rehearsal went today, it seemed like a total waste of time.
&When it all started out in the cathedral, I had high hopes.
Till that time she said those few words, I tried t force the believe upon myself that MsGrace was joking, but she wasn't.
I know that by the second time she confirmed it.

"No, the first row won't be performing. Its only row 2 and 3."

I don't mean to harp on the unpleasant happenings, but I'm sorry Ms Grace, I'm a female.
I took it to heart.
Because choir means alot to me and I was really excited for todays performance.
But when I was actually told that, I felt at my wits end.
On the edge of the highest mountain.
Why was it happening, what was going on, I didn't get it.
I felt awful, very.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to run away.

In the end when we were asked to join the rest of the choir in the end, I just wasn't in the mood to sing, wasn't in the right mind, wasn't prepared.
For a moment I didn't want to sing.
Felt like my heart strings were played with.
I had all the mixed emotions all at once, felt like I needed t cry it all out before I could go on.

Sigh.
Then it really felt like we were screwed.

Yeah, indeed, it brought forth all the 2nd rows' voices.
They sounded good some way.
I know that many slack for they would always think, "Aiya, got the first row."

But I know that we can do everything for a perfect score.
We're capable of it.
However it comes down to whether we want to do it or not.

I felt better at the end of everything but not good enough.
Unaccomplished.

Argh.

Dinner was good though, its been so long ever since I had a good laugh.
Mmmm.
Saturday must be good.
It will be.
Will.

Haven't got to tell you.

2009-04-08T20:19:00.004+08:00

It feels like I'm only having a 3 day week this week since I'll be leaving class by 0930 tomorrow.
I'm anticipating the performance yet at the same time I worry.
But I shall not. Must not. Will not.
No excitement killerrrrs, they'll die first.

Hmm.
Some days I get here with really nothing to say.
Some days I get here wanting to say something but did not in the end.
Some days I get here and wonder if I should say what I want to.
Some days I don't want to get here.

School has been just, here and there.
Been dreaming off more than usual which I feel is bad.
I only came to realise when Yoobin was calling me so loudly and it took me so long to snap back.
Geeeez.

As SYF draws nearer and nearer, everyone's on the edge of their seats.
Not really but mmm.
Even when school tears us apart from our cca it shall be okayy.
I try not to look at the calendar, at all the tests, all the rehearsals.
Gotta hang in there like the little one beloww.

I suddenly remember how Mr Lee came into class the other day and said how science students use cool terms like SPA.
I don't like SPA.
Aye.

Soon I'll leave one liners.

2009-04-05T11:51:00.000+08:00

So Silly.

Too little time,

2009-04-03T20:27:00.005+08:00

17 days to SYF.

Its just about two weeks left till time in SMSS choir comes to an end.
I know though it may not be something I'm looking forward to but it keeps eating on me.
But SYF is exciting.

I just don't like the pace we're progressing. We might as well practice everyday then.
I felt so awful when Miss Grace told us that some choirs actually practice each day to 10 in the night.
I don't believe its a joke.
Their target is that high.
Ahh, gosh.
I really wouldn't mind choir as school.
But there won't be such a thing.

There are times where I feel that Miss Grace has too high expectations.
Its not that I don't want to believe in her, but sometimes its just too scary.
We won't be trying out our songs at VCH itself.
That, for me, is the scariest part.
And she doesn't feel the need to have alot alot of practices, but shes probably busy.
She puts really high trust for us to practice our songs everyday even just before you shut your eyes for bed.
I do.
She tells us we can form our groups and practice within levels during school, I do.
But who knows about the others.

Sometimes I feel really sad when people are not passionate about choir.
It heart wrenching to see those black faces among the rows of people.
Its discouraging to see that people don't care at all.

Choir is a group thing, nothing about individuals.
Its the overall sound now, not individual voices.
But so what if you really give all you've got but others screw it for you.

At times choir really doesn't seem together at all.
&I'm sorry to say this but its with the younger ones.
Its upsetting.
It gets frustrating.

With what we do now, we'll end up leaving regrets next time.
Then why not put in your everything to minimize the anticipated regrets.

I wonder if some of us really know how high certain choirs' standards are.
Its scary out there.

There are so many of us in choir, and there is no time to deal with people individually.
Seriously, I don't get whats wrong with some.
We're going for a competition.
A competition. Not a concert.

Everyday I make sure I get rid of doubts I have of our choir's standard.
Because I know very well, we've improved alot from the past years.
But we can do even better than this.
Much better.
So why not.

Sigh.

Silly's the word,

2009-03-30T19:54:00.003+08:00

First day of the weeeek and actually school didn't feel too much of a drag.

Chinese didn't seem too bad today where laoshi just went through the paper.
The day started to get funny when MsNg came in.
Funnily, she had a hair cut and I assume dyed her hair black.
It didn't seem black under the light, it seemed a very dark navy blue.
But it was really funny because the moment she stepped in, you'd already know the whole class is talking about her new look.

The thing was, she said,

I know I'm very ugly uh. I go into every class they all laugh at me.
Is it that ugly?

She didn't simply ask once, she asked quite a few times.
I couldn't help but find it so amusing.
MsNg ah. Tsktsk.

Moving on Elective had its amusing moments too.
I feel really bad that I keep talking to FY though.
Then she won't be able to listen and I'll be the cause of it. @_@
But MrLee can't do spelling okayyyy, he was having difficulty with his words too, his thoughts were probably going too fast.
There, your vocal cords would be ahead of your brain. :X
He wasn't sure if he spelled colonial correct and it was just really funny.

Last but not least during the extra lesson of Chemistry, MsSiti left us to do a worksheet since many were away for SYF practices or what not.
While doing the paper you hear MsSiti say,

"Your floor is so dirty, what did your class get for cleanliness ah?"
"Aaaaaaaaa."
"What? My class is cleaner than yours. I clean my class okay. &I get a D. I clean okay."

Then we all laugh at her. :X
She said something like, "Doesn't mean you all can study means you can be excused!"
Yeah, the floor was really dirty actually.
Ohwelllls, I was telling myself I didn't want to pick up the tissue.
Heh.

Another day of school tomorrow!
Actually I feel neutral towards classes now but it'll deteriorate sooner or later.
Mmmm.

Much more locked up,

2009-03-29T10:00:00.004+08:00

I've been using much lesser of the computer these days.
My brother's always been on his games sometimes I'd rather not ask for it.
Actually it doesn't really matter, there isn't much to do.
In 13 days from today he'll be going for army already.
&13 days will pass really quickly.
Its less than two weeeeks.
Geez.
There'll be such a big hole in the family, one lesser person to talk to. x.x

Choir was good yesterday, I enjoyed the rehearsal.
It started with a heart to heart talk and thats when you really start to feel where your heart is for choir.
After it I felt all ready for choir, ready to do all that was set for us for that rehearsal.
We also finally got a taste of how performing in the hall would be like.
Awesomeee.
I feel good about all the songs now. :B

Well to address another case,
Though Ms Grace was straight forward to just say that Sop2s are pulling the choir down, I don't think they should feel discouraged.
If any Sop2s are reading this,
I don't know what Alicia might have said to you guys, and I wanted to talk to you guys too but I didn't get to.
Anyway I just really hope that all of you would not see words of criticism as something that will drag you even lower but as words to push yourself to be even better.
Because the middle parts that form the choir are always seen as the weakest, thats when the more you should be even stronger and show all of us what you're made of.
Mmm.

With very limited time left for rehearsals, I do feel that tiny bit of worry.
We all want a Gold.
Ms Grace says we deserve a Gold.
Its for all that we've always put in for choir.
I really want that Gold.
&Time to time the question pops up, "What if we don't get the Gold?"

22 more days to SYF &the Sec4s are stepping down.
Gosh, I thought we had more days than that.

Aye.

Awakening horrors,

2009-03-27T23:01:00.007+08:00

Its Earth Hour tomorrow!
Everybody better remember to off all your lights! :B
It sounds pretty exciting somehow.
Mmm.
Its amazing how Earth hour has gone global and connected so many countries or cities together.
It'll be cool to see Singapore in darkness for an hour.
I really hope that everyone will participate in this.
I feel that it really is our own responsibilty to play our part and Vote Earth because we've all got to understand that global warming really isn't something that should just be ignored.
In fact it feels like everyone can feel the effects of global warming.
One thing I really don't like these days are the drastic weather changes.
It ruins plans too yknw.
Tsk.

Had a day out today, didn't go for a movie in the end though.
The seats were all taken, leaving the front row only.
Had dinner and walked around.
Got this Marks and Spencers chocolate which got me craving for more.
Tsk, Mooolahhhh.
Didn't get more of course.
Watched children use the Wii for demo-tries though.
Looked pretty fun.
Wouldn't try it there though, too much of an embarrassment.
Hah. :X

Career Fair was so-so.
I didn't have much expectation for it anyway actually.
&I did not want to go for it because I don't want it to further confuse me for the options I'd want to bear in mind.
At times I really wonder where I should go.
But I just know this one thing.
I don't have a passion for studying, have never really enjoyed it.
&With that very preference, I doubt JCs are for me.
But enough said. Hmm.

I really keep forgetting that there'll be choir tomorrow.
SYF will be here in less than a month already.
Its exciting but yet you can really feel the stress to want to just be one of the best.
All I can do is believe it can be done and keep telling myself, "I'm not doing enough."
Its really a time to be adventurous.

Oh and I really have to say this.
English lessons are one of the best lessons amongst the others.
&Its nice to see my class's form in-charges together too.
Its just forms a very cute picture.
Next time it shall be taken.
Fire drill today and MsNoraini was getting shade from Jaani telling me how short people benefit at times like those.
It was pure humourous. :B
Some others were totally clueless though.

Had a long day.
Ahhhh, I pray that the infection in my eye will be gone by tomorrow.
It bothers me.
Shall try to sleep early todayy.
Jogging tomorrow.
I must say it really helped in my breath and helped me have a chance to work out.
Mmmmm.

2009-03-26T01:11:00.004+08:00

You aren't alone.

Well, now I know why the bus stop was really crowded the day before yesterday.
Heart wrenching.

Take it from me,

2009-03-24T19:43:00.008+08:00

Today I rushed through the morning like any other Sunday.
But my trip to the bus stop came as a shock.

I guess the train broke down this morning and every passenger had to get off.
More than just the bus stop was filled, even up till the traffic light some distance away.
People didn't just stand on the pedestrain, they stood on the road.
Numbers of people run up along the street to get to the other bus stop which goes another way.

At the bus stop itself, people were straining their necks to see between heads for the board which shows the bus services and where it goes.
Some even stand on the bench to get to look at it.

I've never seen so many people like that before.
For a moment I thought I wasn't in Singapore.

With almost every bus that came, people were on the road, on the last lane, flagging the bus and rushing up.
Some groups of people repeatedly got up to each bus to ask the driver if they go to a certain place.
I was amused, but feeling all awkward at the same time.
I never like crowds.
&Goodness gracious, people started smoking.
Geeeeeez.
Cigar just makes me say, "Get lost."
I hate it.

That was the only special thing that happened today.
Tuesday morning lessons are starting to feel like a drag all over again.
Sigh, gotta get used to the new timetable.
2hours of math tomorrowwwww.

Mmm. It'll be good if we could eat sweets during math lessons. :X

Comm meeting was nicely done.
Melanie said I was unusually high.
Yoobin said I'm gliggly.
Okay, actually she meant giggly.

Its probably because there aren't tests during this week and not much of homework and all those stressing things.
I'm thankful for the past few days, and hopefully the whole weeek.

I'm sending happy thoughts to youuuuu. :B

Dead sound,

2009-03-23T19:11:00.004+08:00

It was the first day of school for a whole new term.
Mmmm.
There actually really isn't much to say about school.
School is just study study study, nothing but work.
Awful.

But Claire commented that I had smiles from the morning &I was really surprised to hear that.
Hah.
I didn't realise, thats why.
Well its probably cos I had a good sleep last night even though I still did wake in the middle.
It just wasn't as bad as other nights.
Furthermore I slept early.
Way beforeusual. :B
Its a good start!
Everyones been telling me to sleep more either directly or indirectly.
The message across is just always the same &I'll generalise it by saying, "acl, get to sleep."

Firstly, sleeping is not a major part of my life because I don't like to miss doing things I can with the time I might have.
Secondly, its not that I don't want to sleep but these days sleeping have been troubling.
Thirdly, I don't sleep early because its a habit already.
Lastly, I guess I'll be reasonable enough with myself for the amount of sleep I get so no one has to worrrrrry.
I know, I know, eye bags.
Ohwells.
Mmmm.

Choir comm meeeeeting tomorrow.
I'm excited for SYF. :B

&Since it was Mummy's off day I managed to talk to herrr.
I really know that Mummy wants to visit her family.
But the most she can get is a 7days leave and the moolah factor.
I really want Mummy to return there for a visit no matter how rush it may be because she hasn't been there for years.
Its her family. Where she grew up in. Where she came to be.
Sighhhh.
I know she misses them.
Sometimes shes even worried about calling because she can't answer the question they never fail to ask.
"When are you coming back?"

&Because I asked Mummy alittle about Parenting for CME.
I get the feeling that she knows how communication is important in a family and how its lacking in ours that most of the times she just can't through us, children.

Aye.

Time didn't even pass,

2009-03-22T20:15:00.001+08:00

My gosh, theres school tomorrow.

{Edited.
I think ACJC's freeze idea for April Fool's is wayyy cool.
Woah.

Through it we soar,

2009-03-22T08:42:00.006+08:00

The Intensive period of Choir has passsed, just like that.
I'm really happy with the rehearsals having worked on much.
These rehearsals have been really good tooo, though they were really tiring.
By Saturday, many were feeling dead in the morning.
&I have to admit, I was feeling really tired too.
Sleeping has always been a problem.
But fatigue can be overcomed when you have the will to.
Really, because I did.

After the jog and the cockroach incident, I was wide awake, ready for choir.

Ms Grace's standards are actually really high and I like it that way.
Two years back, our rehearsals for SYF were horror.
She would shout at you, scold you for not getting the right things.

This time her other approach isn't horrifying at all.
I read at the newspaper the other day that.. Oh no, I forgot.
It was something about being Silly.
That humour really is needed to get things going at times.

Ms Grace's approach this time however, makes those who haven't gone through what she was 2 years back take her for granted though.
Many don't see the seriousness in the competition we're going for.
Its actually quite saddening.
Anyway, Ms Grace, being someone she doesn't like to scold and just be really rigid with teaching has taken the approach where she would seem to be softer but yet firm at the same time.
I felt that it was a good combination.

I just admire how much she actually puts in for each of her choir.
She thought long and hard to think of illustrations to help us imagine what we're going for.
Illustrations to help us understand the song.
Illustrations to just keep us going.
Its amazing how she isn't all conscious over herself and what she does.
She just goes all out for choral music.
Its awesome.

I've learnt alot during just these 3 days of choir.
Just really have to practice, practice, apply, apply.
Now I love all the SYF pieces like crazy. :B

Broken strings

2009-03-19T07:52:00.003+08:00

Chinese intensive has come to an endd.
Actually it wasn't as bad as I expected.
&I liked the size of the class.

This update was supposed to be here early yesterday but apparently whenever I get home to use the comp, Brother would either wake or come home just around that time too and demand for the computer.
Funny how he can just say "I wanna use." &I let him.
&When I say the same, he asks me to wait a few hours.
Nowadays I don't bother asking.

Yesterday was a don't-feel-too-good day.
&&&, I didn't like it.
So I decided to get things out of my mind, I asked my godsisters out for dinnner.
Yeah it did make me feel much better but it didn't last.
Aye.

Then there you go, I couldn't sleep at night-time.
I figured that these days, I can sleep as little as 2 hours and tell myself I don't need anymore sleep.
Don't ask me why, I don't get it either.

Besides that, Father has been talking about how sick Jack is, as if hinting that we should put her to sleep or something.
For just the past few days, Jack has been behaving differently.
Whenever the dogs hear the jingle from the keys, they rush to the door, looking forward for a walk.
However Jack recently has been barking when you call her for a walk out.
She keeps barking at you, as if you're going to hurt her.
She bites your hand then, when you try to touch her.
Its just like her protecting herself. But to what, we don't know.
Is she afraid we'd bring her some place scary? But we have never done before.
She comes to my room to bark at you though.
She has never barked at me yet.
Nowadays shes been coming to my room tooo, she never used to after we've moved because Niki wouldn't like to let Jack have what she has.

I know Jack's been sick for quite a bit, she has never been well.
But her happy nature was always there, especially when you have food.
Her advanturous ways trying to have a hand at mice before, cockroaches or even flies.
She caught a mouse before at my previous house where a "forest" laid behind the block.
I was really proud of her.

&I'll just be honest but I don't want to know whats wrong with her.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from Michelle after I text her regarding choir stuff.
&I got to know what happened.
I didn't know what to say, how to say.
I was just, stuck.
&When these things happen to others, you start thinking.
Now I just feel so. jsdgtr87q3g
Gibberish if you want a word for it.

&When I really woke up this morning.
I told myself I never wanna sleep again.
I really need a night without dreams.

Sigh.

Where you found me,

2009-03-15T19:30:00.004+08:00

Another day out with FY. :D
Each of those days really seem to be one of the best times in life.
Because theres just no way to feel awful.
Even if you do it won't last.

Managed to get my stufff.
&I've accepted the colour of it I guess. Hah.
I'll grow with it.
Was guilty to have caused a pointless trip back to tbp though.
Ayee.

While we spent time figuring the differences in the modes of her Instant Camera, I guess I was complaining alot about the people that always loooked.
Heh.
Just didn't appreciate it.
It was as if we were doing something illegallll.
Okay luh, maybe not so bad.

&Her Instant Camera didn't seem any different from a Polaroid to me.
But I'm guessing that theres a whole lot of difference.
Probably much better and doesn't work on batteriesss.
I'm actually excited for her to get it. :B

Its so amusing how sentences will sound funny although they're said right.
They always give me a good laugh.
&I was remembering the Brownies.

Well the most classic sentence is still the one of my dogs.
&The menu one!

Waaaawesome. :D

Mmmmm.
4 hours of Chinese tomorrow! I'm praying that it'll be bearable.
&I've to constantly remind myself that I'm going to school tomorrow.

Oh &since i fell asleep by accident at 9 last night, waking at midnight, I told my brother that I woke thinking that I had school.
Heh, its a Sunday. :/
&He said thats what happens when I something.
I couldn't catch it.
Eeeee.
Probably thought too much about homework.
Stayed up with brother &he even called for MacDeliveryyyy.
It was fun yknw. :D
Just that of course, eye bagggggs. ):

Obsolete,

2009-03-15T02:17:00.003+08:00

Its quite nice to be awake at deeep night.
Mmmmm.

Strawberry Jammmm.

2009-03-14T00:40:00.003+08:00

Its beeeen a long day.
I came home and wanted to watch teevee but nothing nice was on.
So I fell asleep on my sofa with my contacts on, again.
Geeez, I really hate doing so. ):

Anyway, I went out with FY againnnn, &got a free gloria jean's drink againn, which got me freezing in vivo but I'm not complaininggg. :B
Sometimes I really feel that I lack vocabulary to express myself.
I've always used more than awesome, heartwarming, lovely, etc etc.
I was searching for a word to describe today's outing.
Hmmmm.
Alrighty, I can't think of anything.

But the whole outing thingo really made the whole day seem so pleasant.
I totally forgot about the things about school.
&As of today, my dogs have 3 houses. :D

Shall not go into details, its kept at heart.

Waaaawesome.
{I don't know where that came from actually.}

It was painful to laugh and cough though, all those aches.
I need it to be gone for laterrrr, I need to singgg.
Aye.

Oh and I realised, recently my memory's been really really bad.
I don't get whyyyyyy.
&I forget like many many things.
Some things really seemed so foreign it feels like it never happened before.
This is badddd. ):

Choir tomorrow, I should be getting more than enough sleep.
But sleeping on the sofa totally messed up my sleeping pattern for tonight.
Probably won't get to sleep.
My left eye is still really red and uncomfortable.
&&&,
Brother said don't go to the IT fairrrrr. :/

"Sometimes you gotta initiate."

2009-03-12T22:50:00.001+08:00

Out of my mind,

2009-03-11T22:42:00.003+08:00

Theres still this thing thats bothering me.
I still can't believe its Sports day tomorrow because it just doesn't feel like it.
Furthermore relay runners have to meet at like 0615.
I'm actually, runninggggggg.
Not to complain, but I just. I don't know.

But I like a part of one of Yanru's post which read,

And Cooke house, all we want to do on sports day, is to.. HAVE FUN! (not win like the others, cos that's too ambitious) Hooray!

As for the race tomorrow, I'm just gonna give it my all, and let what will happen, happen.
I don't need a medal to feel happy.
I just need to know I'm happy.
Mmm.

But the saddest part about Sports day the past year &this year is that, I won't be able to really scream my heart out to cheer for Cooke.
Its the last time having Sports day with SMSS.

I remember when I was Sec2, I was really happy about how Cooke won Sports day, Cross country, and all.
It was a really heartwarming.
I cheered till my throat started to ache.
But I won't be able to cheer because I'd need my voice for the intensive choir trainings coming up.

SYF's just around in a month's time, &I just got to know that we're the first SSA choir that'd be on.
SSAA to be precise.
That knowledge did give me quite a bit of the creeps but I'm pretty excited for SYF at the same time.
I'm aiming higher than a Gold.
I don't have to remind myself constantly of that goal, its already inside me.

What I really mean is that, I'm not going for the award.
Of course if you ask me if I want a Gold, yes I do. I really want one.
But more than a Gold to me really means singing with the choir, conductor and pianist as one.
Its not just about feeling music as an individual.
I know MsGrace did say she doesn't feel connected to the Choir.
It came to be as a shock at first.
But afterwhich I came to a conclusion that I myself am not doing enough to connect to her.
Feelings are just so important in performing arts.
&Yeah, I want to enjoy the music making, enjoy the whole process, treasure the team spirit, treasure the lovely voices.

As we go about the rehearsals, I hope that we'll never fail to encourage one another to give more each time.
No more being selfish.
That determination, has to always be there.
So lets go for it, Choir.

Ahhhhh, exciting.

We'll get through as one, get through it awesomely well. :D

PS; Thanks for the jiayou, FY! I seeeee it. :B

Lost words,

2009-03-10T23:43:00.003+08:00

Theres so much more to life.

You can't doubt it when she says so,

2009-03-09T17:02:00.002+08:00

Its the start of a whole new week again, and its already the last week for the first term.
Yes, time really did fly by pretty quickly enough though certain weeks may seem like a real drag.

This week probably won't be as bad as the previous ones since there will only be one test in it.
&The best thing is that the test is over.

I felt accomplished last night when I realised I've started working on Biology, finished on all my math work and chemistry Physics filing.
However it was midnight by that time, &I totally forgot about the Amath test today.
Geeez.
I didn't want to stay up, so I just went to sleep.
Didn't want to start the week feeling overly exhausted.
Its not nice.

But anyway, though Monday's have always been really long and draggy, it didn't feel like it today.
Maybe because we were dismissed earlier for Chemistry and it was not a dry Chem class.
I prefer classes like the one today.
&Ms Siti said,

So when a guy gives you chocolate, I hope you will remember todays class uh.
Don't eat chocolates in front of guys.

&The funny thing too was when Joy actually said, take the chocolate and run.
Amusinggg.

I hope tomorrow will be a good day.
Mmm.
Not just for me, for anyone else.
:B

To be honest, its a torture.

2009-03-07T19:42:00.003+08:00

Thursday was bad.
Friday was comforting.
Saturday is alright.

By the start of the week I already felt exhausted after the first day.
I guess I'm really feeling the effects of fatigue today.
I have this piercing headache which restricts any thoughts and it hasn't gone away since this morninggg.
Despite that I still have so much I'm thinking about &I feel horrible.
The whole day seemed uncomfortable and my body was aching tooo.
Sigh.

I needed to put in extra effort for choir today since physically I was just feeling uneasy as a whole.
That made it even more tiring.
However I'd say I only appreciated more of the first portion of the rehearsal.
Not to dwell in the past, I guess there shall not be anymore of not-too-productive rehearsals because SYF's just too near to have time wasted.
&That reminds me of Jaani's phrase, "Life is too short."
Yeah, life is too short to dwell in a certain unhappiness.

But other than that, I was wondering if I'd continue having Choir as a CCA as I moved along in the education system next year.
Felt like I wouldn't, somehow.
I love the Secondary School choir style and it'll be different the next time.
Its not that I wouldn't want to try another choir's culture, but. I think I might just want to try something new.
Everything will remain the same because I know that my love of making choral music and music itself, will never change.
Its still a shallow thought, but hmm.
I wonder.

Anyway, Thursday and Friday was pretty much of a struggle with a test on Physics and Biology respectively.
I'm really glad I got through it.
Friday was comforting because I got to go out with FY. :B
&Yknw, times like these are just so different from norm.
I'm thankful for it.
Because times like these just makes you feel better after a lousy week at school.
Times like these will show you that life is more than just school.
&Yeahhhhh, more than awesome I tell you.

Didn't get to get a bag that day though, but I'll be on a lookout since my school bag might really just die on me anytime.

I realised how much I would want to get so many things.
&When the time comes I really ask myself if its a need or a want.
Yeah, you'd of course want to get things you want to make yourself happy.
But money's such an irritating issue, sometimes it really eats on me.
&I'll tell myself I must grow up and earn lots of money and bring my mummy on a holiday.

That day will come. It mustttttt.

My Europe plan will come true too. :D

2009-03-06T22:18:00.001+08:00

Drained.

With utter shame.

2009-03-04T19:38:00.004+08:00

Its been a baddddd day.
It didn't start well because of a really disheartening dream.
Actually it wasn't really a bad day, just that I've moodswings probably.
Heh.
Or maybe I was just thinking too much about the dream.

Last night I needed to stay awake to complete work and whenever I do I'll get a cold drink that'll keep me awake.
I didn't want ordinary plain water and I'm choosing to cut down on Redbull.
There wasn't glucose at home either.
So I asked my brother if honey water would make me feel sleepy.
And yknw whaaaaaat.
He asked me if I wanted his sleeping pills.

Mmm.
He got the wrong idea luh, because honey water is for going to sleep.
&I didn't really get to stay up last night, I really couldn't hold my eyelids up anymore.

Physics test tomorrow followed by Biology the next day.
I'm doubting my ability to study for them.
Furthermore I'll probably be worn out after choir.
Ahhhhhhhh.
&Maybe by saying that I'm putting a limitation on myself without even seeing how to scenario will be.

Geeeeez.
I'll show you what I need.

A whole field of them please. ):

Nothing but crap,

2009-03-03T21:01:00.007+08:00

This is a post to ignore. Heh.

As the days go by, its really getting harder and harder to wake up.
Geeeeez.
Some day I really need to just go out there and get things to make myself feel better.
But wheres all the moooolah.

It was a freezing day, I felt at the coldest temperature I ever could in Singapore.
The weather's been going to its extremes and it isn't nice.
I don't bring my jacket to school anymore because it gets really hot by afternoon for the past few weeks previously.
This week its been raininggggggg.
Its nice and cold but I felt too cold today.
The buses didn't help either.

A week like non other.
Typical secondary 4 week I'd call it.
Filled with tests, homework and what nots.
Yknw there are limits to certain things.
Maybe its the limit I put on myself but some times I really can't push myself any further to get homework done.
I'm so sick of it.
{Actually, okay. Its the limit I'm putting over myself. @_@}
I've been deproving in around all my subjects too, which is pretty, discouraging.
But. Ohwells.
School is, 'I-have-no-choice-but-to-go' kinda thing.

The things I live for for school just got lesser though.

Look into the mirror before you open your mouth.

No way out,,

2009-03-02T18:56:00.005+08:00

Today was exhausting.
My brain's all drained.
AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Chem SPA tomorrowwwwwwwwww.
@_@

You don't see,

2009-03-01T19:53:00.003+08:00

Marley And Me

I caught the movie on Friday with FY and I thought the movie was lovely.
&Of course, it'll be a movie that'll make dog owners think.
Because you'll question yourself about how you're treating your dog, how much time you spend on them.
Deep inside we all know dog owners will have a certain attachment with their dogs.
And I'm not an exception.
I love my dogs, yet I know that most of the times I'm lazy to bring them out.
&I'm an irresponsible owner for only being willing to bring them out when I feel like it.
All I do is really just make sure they have water, play with them and spend a certain amount of time each day with them.
Yeah, I know its not enough.
Sigh.

But moving on, before the movie, I really didn't know what to expect.
&The best part is, I didn't read the book.
That isn't a sarcastic statement.
Without any knowledge of what happens in their story, I sat in the movie with no expectations.
And I prefer it this way I guess.
If not you'll know what'll happen and there really nothing to look for in the movie except for critic on the actors' acting.

The movie was screened on Christmas for others.
But in Singapore it was screened on my birthday.
I'm proud of it. :D

Marley and Me being one of the movies I really like too now, I just really need to make a promise to my dogs, that I'll do more for them.
Will I be able to keep it.
Arrrrrr, I hate that part.

That day till then was awesome &I'm starting to really stay out late nowadays.
I like it although I'll walk through the door of my house suddenly reminded of the amount of matters I've to rush with the time left.

&Yknw yknw, outside school is this really sweet tree.
Not literally but yeah.
I'd like to sit down under it and think that its autumn.
I feel that the tree's a beauty.
And when the wind blows, its leaves will fall.
I couldn't catch the falling in action but here are some photos I managed to take.

And there was this thing that happened outside school that Saturday afternoon.
A car accident.
It wasn't major, but I recognise the family of the victim.
Its a family which stayed at where I used to, Rumah Tinggi.
I felt so sorry for them.
This accident really allowed me to see how driving is so scary.
How easily accidents can occur even without you at the wrong.
Obviously, the person at fault was this lady whom gave me the impression that she'd probably be a unreasonable person with bad attitude.
Can't help to say such a thing but don't take it to heart.
Heh.
The loud crashing sound gave me a fright, I was pretty afraid to turn to see what happened in case the accident was bad.
The road was really busy then too and another really impatient driver had to honk at the victim.
So annoying, he couldn't empathize with the victim.
In anycase I'm pretty glad no one was injured.
But still, that accident really could have been avoided.
Aye.

Headed to lunch after standing there for a bit and we left to have lunch.
Walking to the bus stop after lunch I told Melanie that something looked like Milk tea.
And she told me I've a whole canal of it.
Hah, I just had some today. :D

With that, I'm glad I stayed home today.
I was able to spend time with Mom since it was her day off.
Mmmmm.
Haven't started on homework though!
Its always like that.
Hurrrr.